The Rules of Landycakes Subbuteo Curling
Rules:
8 “cakes” per player. A cake is a Stefan Corda G2 base, with a figure in it. G2 bases only; any other base or variation on the G2, such as a G2-A or Raptor, is disallowed. Violators will have to give out strangely homoerotic backrubs.
There is a dress code for each Landycakes match. The dress code is unannounced; players in violation must either present a 1 Euro fine or drink.
TERMS:
Landy: the playing board
Cakes: a G2 base with a figure in it
Bianca: the name of the target
Hog line: Solid line at ¼ the board.
Cake hole: the center of the target
Strategery: more commonly known as “strategy”
Raising the Dead: the tie-breaker round, named after Donovan’s penalty shot routine
GENERAL:
Players alternate flicking their cake. The goal is to get as many cakes into the target area, named the “Bianca”. Points are awarded for each cake that is closer to the center of the target than the opponent’s closest cake. The game is over after 8 rounds (with a tiebreaker round if needed), or if a player concedes when they feel they have been eliminated mathematically.
Playing surface:
A playing surface is 1 foot wide by 4 feet long. At each end is a target, 9” in diameter. The target is made of concentric rings, 1.5”, 4”, 6.5”, and 9”. 2 lines intersect the target, dividing it into quarters. The back edge of the target is 1.5” from the end of the surface, and centered. The hog line is 1.5” from the front edge of the target. There is a dashed line at the center of the board. The dashed line is only used for team play.
To Play:
Both players stand next to each other. They count down “3, 2, 1, flick”, and each flick one cake at the same time on the word “flick”. The cake that is closest to the cake hole can choose to go first or to go second.
Player A starts. To flick, they stand behind the board. Standing next to the board to flick is not allowed. The cake can be lined up anywhere on the board behind the hog line. The player then flicks his cake down the board. The cake must cross the center line to count. The cake stays where they stop. If the cake does not cross the center line, it is removed from play. A player does not have to set down his beer to flick.
Player B then takes their turn. The two players alternate turns until all cakes are used. Once all cakes are used, the round is over, points are tallied, and Player B starts round 2. The players alternate starting rounds.
To tally a point, a cake must be within the 9” ring, and closer to the center than the opponent’s closest cake. If a cake is outside the ring, it does not record as a point. A cake must be completely inside the 9” ring to record a point. Any cakes in the Bianca but further away from the center than the opponent’s closest cake does not register a point. A cake that is completely in the cake hole registers 3 points. The cake can not be touching the line; it must be completely within the cake hole limits.
In the above graphic, the yellow team has one point. The 2nd yellow cake is cancelled out by the closer green cake.
Bumping is allowed and is a valuable strategery to move cakes, both your own and your opponent’s. Knocking cakes off the playing board is allowed. If any cake leaves the surface, via flick or bump, those cakes are removed from play.
The game ends when 8 rounds are completed. A player, if they see their deficit as too great to overcome, can concede the game after the 5th round. There is no shame in conceding; however, in conceding, the losing player has to get the winner a fresh beer.
If the two players are tied after 8 rounds, the Wake the Dead (tie breaker) round is played. The Wake the Dead is played in the same manner as determining who goes first; both players flick a figure at the same time. The closest to the cake hole wins. If both figures leave the playing surface, the Wake the Dead round is replayed.
TEAM VERSION
Team play is the only thing that matters. It’s more important than individual play. To win a team event means more than any individual honor.
But the rules aren’t set in stone on team play, so you’ll have to be patient. Don’t make us duct tape hogtie you.
Videos of the game being played:
